Crystal Rosepaw profile

[Crystal M. V. Rosepaw]

((OOC: *dusts rustiness off of self* Let's see what I can do here... Also, I'm terribly sorry for the length. Though not my best work remotely, it's still massive... (edited, because I realized while rereading that I had a typo that resembled a curse word. This is fixed now. C:)))

Name: Crystal McFox Vallian Rosepaw
Species: Red/Arctic Fox
Gender: Female

Dibbun Weapon:

Crystal, as a child, wields a wooden sword; a broadsword actually, that the Skipper helped her make after reading about the Badger Lords in Abbey School. It's made from a few planks stolen from those meant to make barrels, and held together with a large amount of fishing line. However, when annoyed by one of her friends, she often tosses anything within reach that her little paws can heft.

Adult Weapon:

Crystal's reading in Abbey School made her determined to become the soldier she became, and during her transition from a dibbun to an adult, she did exercises that visiting Salamandraston hares taught her. Due to this, she became incredibly strong at a young age, and when she announced she wanted to explore the world, her blacksmith father presented her with a broadsword, containing a red stone inlaid into it's hilt. She carries it proudly in a simple scabbard, it's strap over one shoulder. Though this is her most cherished weapon, she also has a small knife kept in the lining of her cloak, as well as a pair of small sickle blades kept tied to her bag. She also had brief training with a bow at the behest of her brother, though she has trouble hitting a moving target. Finally, Crystal's battle tested strength combines well with her speed and cunning to make her capable at hand-to-hand combat, using a foe's momentum against them to force them into submitting, or using her claws to force a foe to give her more distance.

Extra: Elder Weapon

After many years, Crystal returned to Redwall Abbey, admitting she was no longer the best choice to lead others into battle. She was welcomed back into the gates supporting a stiff-legged limp from an old wound, leaning onto a gnarled ash cane. Her knife and sickle blades were put into the small armory the Abbey kept, and the great broadsword was hung above her bed. The cane hardly ever saw combat, and was merely used to rap the paws of dibbuns trying to steal from the kitchens.

Appearance:

As a dibbun, Crystal was often teased for her appearance (perhaps more so because her older brother was considered 'too old' to risk teasing). Her peers had never seen another white fox, apart from sweet Mrs. Rosepaw, who worked in the kitchens. Her family's green eyes also earned her peers a few laughs. She was also shorter than other foxes and a bit chubbier. For a while, she would rub red-orange ink into her fur to make herself look more like her peers. Her mother finally convinced her that she was unique, and not to be ashamed; she would proclaim to the others that her pelt was made of stars if teased about it more, which caused the others to simply give up. She would often wear a simple blue dress, but she also had a pair of boots and a cloak, both black, under her bed if she needed them.

As an adult, Crystal earned her fair share of scars. Few scratches made small raised marks on her muzzle, as well as one that began on the right side of her jaw, ending near her throat. Her right paw also held scar tissue on the knuckles. A few other, minor scars scattered across her body. However, the one that became so well known was the one on her left hip; a sparring accident left a huge gash in the area, which despite the efforts of healers, never fully repaired itself, and was increasingly damaged during her career. Due to this, the vixen carried a permanent limp, though she is able to hide this with a great deal of concentration. Crystal carried a gray bag for a long time, before finding a home with a group of soldiers called the Guardians, living in an old fortress in Mossflower. She typically wore a simple outfit, consisting of a pale lavender dress and a blue belt made of cloth. The dress had long sleeves. She also wore a set of worn black boots along with a black cloak which was held in place by her badge. She also had a few other outfits, consisting of a green tunic and black shorts for working, and a red and gold silken dress with a pair of sandals. Yet, most remembered her in her battle clothing: a green and gold tabard with light mail beneath it, allowing protection and movement.

Upon her return to the Abbey, Crystal was never seen without her cane, which was normally found lying across her lap. Her old patched and faded clothing was replaced with a simple green dress, with pockets large enough to hide sweets for the dibbuns that often visit her for stories. She was often found in a comfortable chair in Cavern Hole, a blanket wrapped around her as she read by the fire.

Personality:

As a child, Crystal was a bit standoffish, due to the taunts she received due to her appearance. The little fox was also known for her short temper, often taken out on her friends (normally Rikian or Audrey). She was always thinking, and came off as clever even when some of her actions were rather impulsive. However, as a child, she was less than charismatic, and would have to plan and hope things went her way instead. Like most of her kind, she was superstitious, and picked up some of her mother's beliefs about life. Yet the thing that made Crystal really stand apart was her bookish nature and clever pranks, along with her lack of typical dibbun dialect (due to her reading and being slightly older than her friends). However, though she may have spoken badly about her elders around the other dibbuns, she was always polite in their presence.

As a teen, Crystal's personality became darker, a drive to prove to the world that not all foxes were evil pushing her forward. She took a role in the Sea Patrol, which, while it did not calm her temper, forced her to remain respectful. Here she learned how valuable teamwork was, and became more withdrawn. During her first fight, Crystal also discovered the fragility of life, and became determined to protect those of her friends, regardless of if hers was lost in the process. (Though she would never admit it, she gave thought of it making her a martyr for her cause, effectively giving her the 'honor' she so desperately needed.) She also determined that the feelings of love had no hold on her, as she felt she had more to offer the world than settling down and raising children of her own. She also became witty, with biting phrases or simple looks, imagining that this made her more clever.

Time went on, and though she was still trying to determine what the world was about, Crystal rediscovered the power of words. Though always quite capable with a blade, she learned that the correctly chosen words could change the tides of battle. Still not in the best mindset, (suffering from paranoia and insomnia) she withheld this as much as possible to promote teamwork and efficiency in those around her. When called upon, the vixen gave poetic eulogies to bring creatures together, or passionate speeches to redirect the rage of her teammates and channel them into a common goal. This skill increased as she was granted the control of an army, as her fights would have to be more thought out. Crystal also became, as she would call it, 'vain.' To match her silver tongue, she also learned that appearances mattered more, and would change them to suit the situation. Though feeling awkward in more fitting regalia, she would play the part as grizzled warrior and political tactician when the need should arise. However, real vanity did arise: when placed with younger creatures, or feeling threatened, Crystal would return herself to her old solider's posture, gritting her teeth as she attempted to to show weakness via the limp she carried. This was the closest she felt to a mother: teaching the younger generation as she had been taught.

As she aged, the fox became much more docile, eventually determining that her work was done. As an Elder, she learned the lady-like skills she had misses, such as cooking, weaving, and (her favorite) knitting. Calm and at peace at last, Crystal allowed her weapons to be put away or simply on display. However, anyone asking the elderly Crystal Rosepaw would promptly be told with spirited heat in her voice that if she was asked, she would march out the gates with her sword in her paws once more to defend her home. Old though she was, pride still lingered within her.

History:

Crystal was born in her mother's village in the north, where snow fell most of the year. However, Helen and Samkern Rosepaw decided that their children needed raised in a safer place, and planned to build a home in Mossflower Woods. While traveling, they were met by a group of creatures that told them of a beautiful, peaceful place called Redwall Abbey. They were welcomed there, Sam using his blacksmith skills to help contribute, as well as Helen who had been trained as a healer. The pair raised their children there, as well as playing the role of foster parents to other dibbuns, which forced the foxmaid to become more patient. Crystal spent her time in Abbey School and with the other dibbuns, although she was older than most of them by this time, and had outgrown her baby speech.

She was horrified when reading for Abbey School to realize that most foxes were not like the Rosepaw family; most were what the Redwall creatures called 'vermin.' Samkern Rosepaw had to console his weeping child upon this discovery, saying that it just meant she could prove herself to the world. She took a vow to show the world that she was better than that, and gain herself and her family honor.

This stuck with the fox her entire life, and colored her character as she grew. When she reached an age to be allowed to travel, she and her brother set off to 'find themselves,' as their mother called it. Mortamus said his goodbyes to her as he went to learn more about the healing arts, and the younger joined the Sea Patrol. During this time, she was forced to kill another creature when the crew was attacked, sure that the at the time unarmed pirate would come back. This upset her, as she was sure it made her one of the vermin she so hated and feared. One of the crew consoled her, and it strengthened her resolve when she realized her actions had saved lives. After her time with the Sea Patrol, she met up with what became her more permanent home: The Fort, as it was lovingly called by the Guardians who owned it. During this time, she met many others, including one that severely shook her resolve again. At dinner one night, he proclaimed all foxes were evil, and a fight between the two ensued, the foxmaid's signature temper flaring as she berated him for publicly denouncing her. This is when those around her began to notice a change in the young soldier.


As time went on, her mind began to fade, the line between her nightmares and reality blending together. Still bound by honor, she carried on trying to prove to the world that she was a figure of good. Yet, when her leg became crippled, for a while, her mind had become so as well. Quick tempered, unsteady, and still on her mission from her childhood, she put everything she had into being physically well enough to continue to fight. During this time, she had to return to Redwall twice when her parents became ill and passed away. Both said they were proud of her, though, at the time, Crystal did not understand why. She hadn't given them their honor, and they were dying. Did they not understand that they were treated as lesser creatures because of their species?

After much time, her wild spirit was put down when she was given command of the Guardians when their leader retired. Fearful, she refused, until realization sunk into her. She had finally gotten what she wanted. She had honor, respect, and the ability to protect others. Though still crippled, both by her leg and her paranoia, she was happier than she had been in a very long time.

As she retired, her fear had completely subsided. A new Abbot controlled Redwall, and was one she had grown up with. Her pride (still in abundance) forced her to attempt to help with any task she could. Her favorite thing would be the rainy days, when dibbuns would find her in Cavern Hole, supply her with ample food and drink, and ask for stories from the old fox who spent her days knitting or helping in the kitchens. However, most significantly, the night she returned to her childhood home, she handed her cloak and weapons to the Abbot, saying a life-long voyage into her spirit was done; after numerous seasons, she had found herself. Crystal was finally at peace with herself, knowing she had done her all.

She would still go out of the gates with any group going to collect herbs or pick berries, and the leaders of the Abbey's Grounds allowed it. This amount of continued exercise gave her more time with the home she had returned to, but her weakened body finally gave out. When an illness swept through the Abbey one winter, one of the Brothers found the old vixen departed from the world, paws clutching a recently finished knitted scarf, a faint smile of her lips. Laid to rest with her family, her eulogy spoke of the honor she had as her birthright, and of a similar honor she created for herself. Her sword was buried with her, so that, wherever departed warriors go, she could carry on like she had before.

Roleplay Sample:

*The water, dark and frigid, rose up even further towards the grey-bellied clouds, the little fox's cries becoming more desperate as she fought to get air. Lightning crackled down, Crystal's vision occasionally of use. Flash, dark water for miles. Flash, her paws working to keep her up.

She was sure she had been picking strawberries with her friends moments ago; what happened? She had irritably thrown an overly ripe piece of fruit at Rikian, which had collided with his cheek before bursting, leaving one side of his face wet. They had then had gotten into a round of play fighting, she could recall, in which he had wiped his face on the back of his paws and was trying to get juice on her freshly washed dress. She had pushed him away, giggling, and then had fallen onto the bank of the pond...

The bright sun of the Abbey grounds was gone, the pond that had swallowed her whole not resembling the summer season. Little Crystal Rosepaw let out another despairing plea, though they were slowly dying off into more of a whimper. The liquid itself felt more like oil on her fur than anything else, and was clouded with dark mud churned up form below by her madly scrambling paws. A large gust of wind sent a small wall of water crashing over her head, blinding her with panic as her lungs sobbed for air. Fighting her way back to the surface, a flash of lightning allowing her to see a small log floating near her. With a surge of strength, she lunged at it, feeling the rough bark dig into her paws.

Crystal's scream was one of last hope as she pulled it nearer, throwing her arms over it, panting as her head fell onto the wood with exhaustion. Tears still welled from jade optics, cutting clean rivers through the sludge covering her white fur. Her dress clung to her, but gave no warmth from the cutting wind. Her breath condensed in from of her in tiny white puffs before drifting away from her, the never ending sea around her determined to steal her last bits of air.

As the fox opened her eyes again a moment later to take in her surroundings again, fear chased away any last trace of warmth from her as electricity lit up the sky again. A wave, easily three times her height, was bearing down upon her.*

Help! Someone, help me, please! H-

-elp, please, please.

[/b] *The little fox whimpered into the sleeves of her nightgown, curled up into the smallest ball her body would possibly allow. With a start, she awoke, breathing heavily and trying to contain little shivers. Rain pattered on the window nearby, a calming noise had she not been so startled by a nightmare of water. A book that she had been reading was now flipped open to a random page beside her, though it seemed someone had blown out the candle on the bedside table. Sitting up and untangling herself from her sheets, Crystal looked around the room at the other dibbuns, all still asleep.

Panic struck her again a drop of water hit her muzzle, causing her to mutter a thready whimper of terror, using her forepaws to push her back towards the headboard. She looked up to find the source, pulling at the blankets with fearful quakes of her claws. As her eyes adjusted, she discovered not a monstrous, consuming wraith of the sea, but instead, a slow, steady drip from the rafters above. A leak.

She sat and stared at it for a few long minutes, watching it fall to around where her chest had been as she slept. Sighing with relief, Crystal scrubbed at her eyes, humming a quiet note to herself as she considered the situation. She could sleep here, although it would be uncomfortable and wet from the leak, go to her parents and ask to sleep there, or, well, wake up Riki and demand he move over so that she could rest. With a huff, she decided on the third option with a nod of her head, glancing over at his bed a few feet away. (Her conclusion to move was based only on the water, not the little needles of fear still pricking her. That would be cowardly.)

Gathering her faded old green pillow in her paws, she swung her legs off the mattress, flicking her tail to try to steel herself. She did not have a nightmare, the leak had just woken her up, and Riki should be a good friend and let her sleep there. With a nod, Crystal padded over to his bed, shaking his arm, gently at first, but becoming rough as her companion refused to wake. With a minute jump, he opened his eyes, blue-green irises swallowed up by large, sleepy pupils.*

Oh, it j'st y- ohhh youse. Watcha nee'? *His voice shook with a yawn as he spoke, and the male refused to raise his head. Instead, he simple looked at her from half lidden eyes.*

Move. There's a leak over my bed – can't sleep. *Crystal's voice, in comparison, was terse, and a little higher than normal, token from a left over bit of adrenaline. With a sigh, Rikian rolled over to the other side, lifting his head a fraction to scoot his pillow down. The foxmaid then put hers down beside it, crawling into the bed beside her friend. Here, at least, she felt warm and safe. Tired, she closed her eyes again.

However, before she could fully drift off to sleep, Rikian, still facing away from her, spoke.* Bad dweam aga'n?

No. There was just a leak, I told you. *Crystal huffed out a reply, pulling the covers up higher, not bothering to open her eyes.*

Dun worry, Crys, you be safe here. *Rikian nodded sagely, yawning and snuggling down into the blankets unaware that next to him, Crystal pulled the blankets up over her face, a blush spreading across her cheeks.*[/blockquote]

[Aquamarine]

Crystal, her appearance is very nicely done. There are plenty of details, and while she has some unusual characteristics, you weave them into her character well so that they don't exist just for the sake of being unusual. I also appreciated the inclusion of her elderly self. The only phrase that jumped out at me was "the dress had long sleeves" -- I think that could be worked into the previous sentence without too much trouble. Not a big deal though.

Very well done on her personality. It's nicely unified and isn't static. I'm curious about what caused the changes in her, especially from her adult seasons to her retirement. It seems like it would be a gradual change. Does that begin to take shape before or after she decides her work is done? Another little thing seemed out of place here -- the word "eulogies" doesn't quite fit with the context.

Kudos to you for making the stigma against foxes an important conflict in Crystal's life -- too often I think the bad reputation of good vermin is overlooked. I'm not sure how her fading mind fits together with the rest of her character and personality. How strongly does that play into her life, and what effects does it have on her and her relationships with others? How does she overcome it?

Nice use of the lightning flashes at the beginning of the RP sample. Try to keep the word choice consistent -- "jade optics" in particular seemed out of place with the rest of the piece. Her voice comes through strong. She seems mature for her age. Her dialogue doesn't necessarily need to be in bold. Great description -- it might even help to be a little more concise.

All told, Crystal is a well-developed character and you've done a great job explaining her clearly. Class 1.