Samoto Bushtail profile

[Samoto Bushtail]

Name: Samoto Bushtail
Species: Red squirrel
Gender: Male
Dibbun Weapon: Pillow
Adult Weapon: Sword and shield

Appearance: Normal sized, green dibbun rope, red fur, brown eyes, Samoto likes to keep a stone in the shape of an apple tree leaf in his pocket at all times. As Samoto becomes an adult he will wear A green adult rope. He will be a tall squirrel and still quite thin.

Personality: Humorous, always hungry for pie,brave, loves pillow fights, even though he gets along with the other dibbuns quite well . As he becomes an adult he may not be as hungry, still humorous, and will love to tell stories of his days as a dibbun.

History: Samoto was born as the second squirrel in his family. He has always grown around the Redwall Abby. One day he was running around in the forest and got separated from his friends. He started looking for them and got even farther from them. He sat in the forest all alone. It got night and he fell asleep and woke inside the Abby in the arms of a tall squirrel who must have fund him. He got put in the Active Array dorm, and that's were he is now. He will stay in the Abby for as long as they will keep him. He will be a animal who will keep the try to be a good example to the young dibbuns so they will not be the trouble makers he was.

Roleplay sample: **It was a quite day in the AA dorm. Samoto was getting ready for something exiting to happen. In a few seconds there was a pillow in his face.He couldn't see who it was. He found it his mission to find the attacker. He say an mouse sitting with his pillow in his lap. He swung his pillow at him**
Got you!

[Riverstream & Riana]

Good start, Samoto.
You have the good beginnings of a character here, but you could elaborate a lot more. Take a minute to look at the applications above you- see how their descriptions are a paragraph or two? I'm not trying to say that quantity is better than quality, but you could put a little more information into this.

I'd like to know more about his appearance. What color is his fur? His eyes? What kinds of clothes does he wear? Any ornaments or jewelry? Five words is not enough.

The same goes for his personality. Does he have any insecurities? Do any events in his life change his personality at all? Is he brave or cowardly? Does he get along with other dibbuns? You need more description.

The history is a good start. But you should make the beginning a little clearer- how exactly does he fall asleep and end up in the Abbey? And include later years. What happens to him as a teen, as an adult? Does he go adventuring or does he stay in the Abbey? What about when he gets old?

I'm pretty much asking for the same thing in all these sections, but it's true. You need more description. I'm not trying to criticize, I'm just trying to help you. You've got a good start.

You'll have a chance later on in the Beginner Patrol to work with us on this and revise your application as you'd like.

Class 3, but with some work you'll be moving up. Feel free to get started with activities and missions to earn points.

EDIT: I see you modified your application. That's not necessary, but it's okay. You'll get a chance to work on it more later in the Beginner Patrol. For now, feel free to head over to the rest of the BP and get started with the activities there.