Zeke Ruffgar
Loyal Dibbun
Right Paw
"Good always wins. Always! Not just in books but in real life."
Posts: 348
Main: Zeke Ruffgar
Alt 1: Tristan
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Post by Zeke Ruffgar on Sept 8, 2016 9:10:42 GMT -5
Burfle! I think fleshing out Maddy is going quite well - I love that I can see the differences and growth between these answers and her "young adult" answers. It gives a real sense of progression and aging. I've added Celebrity to your badges, since this is round 2 with Maddy!
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Zeke Ruffgar
Loyal Dibbun
Right Paw
"Good always wins. Always! Not just in books but in real life."
Posts: 348
Main: Zeke Ruffgar
Alt 1: Tristan
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Post by Zeke Ruffgar on Sept 8, 2016 9:13:51 GMT -5
Wow, Auri! You certainly gave Vernados a personality here. I love seeing it come out as the questions progress, and watching Vernados get frazzled. Let me know if you'd like an in-depth critique of this activity, and I've added the Interviewee badge to your profile!
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Post by Aurelias & Vernados on Sept 29, 2016 17:17:14 GMT -5
I'd love some in depth critique, after all, I am still pretty new to roleplaying!
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Post by Aquamarine on Oct 1, 2016 15:23:39 GMT -5
Here you go, Auri! Like Zeke already noted, Vernados's personality comes across very strongly here, which is great. The main thing I see to work on here is how you get that personality across. Try to do it with tone, dialogue, gesture, and action, and using adverbs and words that directly state his emotions sparingly. Here's what I mean: instead of writing "Mind completely overthinks the question" in asterisks, think about how you can show that in the text – that is, in his words, tone, and body language. I can tell you're already thinking about this from your OOC comment. Adding those details can help make exactly what Vernados is feeling more clear, even if you don't come right out and say it. There are two main emotions/moods you're working with here: overthinking and frustration. Well, overthinking isn't really an emotion, but you know what I mean. Of the two, overthinking is harder to show. You show his frustration very clearly through his actions – yelling and tearing up a piece of paper. Then he stalks off and comes back with a dictionary definition for good without even answering what evil is. Those are clear signs that he's frustrated, especially given the answer he comes back with, which is pretty surface-level. Those are all actions that excellently show his frustration. You don't even have to write that he "yells stressfully," since I can tell from the yelling itself how stressed he is. You're doing pretty well with actions, so I'd like to see you focus on his tone, dialogue, and gestures. Try to think of a few verbal or body-language tics Vernados might have. For example, Aqua taps her tail on the ground when she's thinking or nervous, especially when she's young. Maybe Vernados rubs his paws together, shifts his weight from footpaw to footpaw, or bites his lip. Think about what you or people you see do in that kind of situation for more ideas. For tone and dialogue, see how you can build up to his actions in his verbal answers, since it seems to come on pretty quickly. You can show thinking with stuttering, space-filling words like "um," things like that. You've already started to do this in the question about defining good. I'd like to see you go on to build up his frustration before it boils over into the yell. For example: Think about how you can use this in the desert island answer. You can use the amount of time that passes here, but it'd be hard to do in an RP scenario when other characters will intervene. If you rely on details about Vernados himself, that leaves the door open for other characters to interact with him or say something before so much time goes by. Hope that helps! Let me know if you have any other questions or want to talk through any of this. I'm excited to see where you take your characters!
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Post by Aurelias & Vernados on Oct 1, 2016 18:40:12 GMT -5
OOC: I am just adding a few more questions for practice, and tried to fix the older ones up a bit! IC: If you were to choose a new name for yourself, what would it be? Why? I have never thought about this before, but if I were to choose a new name for myself, it would be a name that can't be turned into one of those confounded silly nicknames like "nunky nados" because they are quite annoying. Actually, I don't know a name that can't be turned into a nickname by the dibbuns, so I guess I wouldn't want to change my name. What is your most beautiful memory? Most certainly the first time I came to the Abbey. When I was on the way here, I was excited, but I didn't have to high of expectations, because all I got was everybeast telling me it was wonderful in a nondescript way. Even though most would say Salamandastron is far more beautiful, since I was born there, I became bored of seeing the same old thing everyday and season. What is your deepest fear? I definitely have a fear, but my deepest fear is going to turn into answering more questions if you ask me more. Haha... heh... no please, I am getting tired from all these non arithmetic applicable question. Ok, I won't ask you anymore after you finish this question.
Alright, my deepest fear is probably seeing hawks. I don't mean that I hate hawks, because most hawks are nice, at least that I have heard of. It's just their enormous appearance is huge compared to me, even though I am a badger, and those talons and beaks look extremely scary, at least to me... hopefully no hawks are listening to are conversation... heh.... Ok, great I'm done, of I go to bed then, and remember, you said that you won't ask me anymore questions!
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Post by Aquamarine on Oct 1, 2016 20:02:36 GMT -5
Once again, his personality is coming through strong. Nicely done! Good improvements on the answer you updated. Here's a challenge if you want to take it (no pressure! ) – try to write it without including any characters other than Vernados and see where that takes you. That's two badges for you, Auri – Celebrity for answering ten questions (which I believe I should have given to you last time. Sorry about that!) and Second Draft for your edits. That also brings you to ten badges, so you've earned the Badge Seeker achievement. Way to go!
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Post by Aurelias & Vernados on Oct 1, 2016 20:06:13 GMT -5
Ok, thanks! I might take the challenge later though.
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Post by Barkfur on Jun 8, 2018 4:44:44 GMT -5
OOC: young adult barkfur Is who I'm choosing for the interview, he gives short answers during interviews and hates to elaborate. BIC
•Who is your family? the squirrels of clan macburl, because they are my blood kin, and the people of redwall. •Where do you call home?
the northlands and redwall •What do you do if/when you have a free day? spar somebody •Can you sing or dance? Would you do so in front of others? yes though i'm not much of a public speaker. •Is appearance, yours or others', important to you? no, I feel that clothing is needed but looks are not. •What is your greatest strength? duel-wielding dirks •What is your worst flaw? too hot headed •Are you a leader or a follower? bit of both •Are you a risk taker? yes •What makes you laugh or smile? Isaiah and burfle •What annoys you or makes you angry? brother silas •What pains you most? bad memories, y'see I was born in the northlands and up north there were lots of wars. I had to see dozens of my clan die in front of me. •What causes you stress? brother silas •How do you relax? reading •Whom do you admire? burfle, definitely burfle, and martin •Are you prejudiced in favor of or against any particular species or type of creature? no, it doesn't matter •What are you the most proud of? slaying my first vermin •What is your most vivid Dibbunhood memory? fishing with my father •What is your most beautiful memory? first seeing redwall •What part of your past do you wish you could erase? Would you do it? see what pains you but no, memories are memories •How do you define evil? bad vermin •How do you define love? personal affection •If you were trapped on a desert island, what would you want with you? my trusty claymore •If you could meet one creature from the history of Mossflower or elsewhere, who would it be and why? martin, cuz yeah! he's martin •If you could visit anywhere in Mossflower or beyond, where would it be and why? southsward, I heard about it in abbey school and I would love to see castle floret.
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Post by Isaiah on Jun 12, 2018 20:39:02 GMT -5
Hey, Barkfur! Added the badge to your profile! I like the details here and they reveal some things we might not ordinarily get to know about Barkfur through regular RPing. I might consider, however trying to see what happens if Barkfur is able to open up and elaborate a little more, as you might get a better picture of what his personality is like. Also, proper capitalization and punctuation never hurts. Otherwise, some cool details and personality! Even stuff like Barkfur wanting to see Castle Floret is a really interesting tidbit.
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